Scary Movie 5: Review

There's bad movies. There are films which make you completely regret watching them, knowing you could have spent your time literally any other way and it would have been more worthwhile. Then there is Scary Movie 5. The plot (if it could even be called one), transitions from one awful parody to another, mainly revolving around the averagely-received "Mama" released earlier this year. Like in that movie, a fairly average couple adopt some children who have been missing for several years, supposedly being guided by a mysterious entity known only as "Mama". 

Now, I know that sometimes parody films or even certain comedies (because there is a huge difference) portray events purposefully as slap-stick as possible in the hope that it will be seen as funny. Scary Movie 5 fails miserably at this from start to finish. Relying on toilet humour and 'pop-culture' references, I found literally nothing funny in this movie. There were only a couple of scenes where I smiled slightly, before another forced celebrity cameo or joke about faeces reminded me of what I was watching. 

The star studded cast of incredible actors

The film opens with a short sketch spoofing Paranormal Activity, with Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan playing themselves. It was nice of director Malcolm D. Lee to prepare viewers for exactly what they were getting in to; completely un-funny, ridiculous, mindless attempts at humour. Paranormal Activity isn't even a modern movie to poke fun at, with the first being released 2007, so why they chose to mock it in a film almost solely riding on pop-culture is beyond me. This isn't where the celebrity appearances stop however, with Terry Crews, Snoop Dog and Mike Tyson all popping up in one embarrassing sketch after another.

 One thing worth mentioning is the fact that Ashley Tisdale is one of the main characters in the movie. For those who don't know, Ashley Tisdale is a Disney 'star' who appeared in masterpieces such as High School Musical. I don't think it's even worth commenting on the acting in the movie, as hopefully that will speak for itself. The only thing I thought was amusing throughout the entire film was that there was an impressionist mimicking the voice of Morgan Freeman as the narrator, but even that doesn't pull it up any points.  

Verdict
Do not pay any money to rent, see or buy Scary Movie 5. The only way films like this will end is if people stop fuelling them. I think I can honestly say that it is by far the worst movie I have ever seen, and I genuinely feel like I've lost an hour of my life doing so. That's another thing: the movie is only 70 minutes long, but it seems to drag on for an eternity. Just don't see it, plain and simple.       1/10

There's no memorable quotes for this film, 

just do yourself a favour and do not see it.